So who are the Altar Boyz anyway?

I first took notice of Altar Boyz when I was searching for soundtrack CD's to buy from Amazon three years ago. The premise seemed interesting, but it didn’t drive me to buy the CD then. Thanks to multiply and music sharing, I eventually got hold of a copy of the songs. After the first listen, I was hooked. The soundtrack was just hilarious and filled with some catchy tunes. With lyrics like “Jesus called me on my cellphone,” “Girl, you make me wanna wait,” and “I am Catholic, hear me roar!”, what Catholic won’t grin?

To those unfamiliar with the show, it debuted in 2004’s New York Musical Theatre Festival and opened off-Broadway a few months later. It quickly gained a cult following (The Altarholics, with their own fan website) and won the 2005 Outer Critics Circle Award for Best Off-Broadway Musical. It was also nominated for seven Drama Desk Awards that year. The production even drew international attention and bore a Korean and Hungarian version. (Yes, with full translations of songs!)

What makes the production so amusing is the simple premise: What if there were an openly-Catholic boyband? The show is played in real time as a concert of the “Altar Boyz” composed of Matthew (the leader), Mark (the sensitive one), Luke (the converted bad boy), Juan (the Latin lover), and Abraham (the only Jewish member). The goal of the concert is to reduce the number of “burdened souls” in the audience through their song and dance numbers.

I wonder how Filipinos, being mostly Catholic, will take the religious references in the production? I guess we have an audience mature enough to handle the satire. Sana naman hindi na ito patulan ng mga opisyal pagdating ng araw. In the end, anyway, its take home message is to have faith.

Thanks to YouTube, you can watch countless AltarBoyz videos and get a sense of its comedy. The Original NY and Chicago casts you’ll see in the following videos are so passionate in their performances as the boy band.

Let’s hope the guys making up the group in Repertory Philippines’ version this April really wow us all. Can’t wait to see that when April comes. (visit the Repertory Philippines site for the detailed show info.)




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Altar Boyz NY and Chicago promo videos:





Original Off-Broadway Cast

DRAMA DESK AWARD PERFORMANCE




Chicago Cast Performances

GOD PUT THE RHYTHM IN ME




EPIPHANY (Brian Crum)




SOMETHING ABOUT YOU (Adam Zelasko)



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Lyrics (From stlyrics.com)

WE ARE THE ALTARBOYZ
There's a brand new sound, that's going 'round the world
It's deep in the heart, of every boy and girl
But it's not so new, it's primitive and tribal...
If you look you can find it, in Gideon's Bible
To the ends of the earth, we're trying hard to reach,
Every chance that we get, we always like to preach

And we feel so good, it never fails to please us
When we spread the word of the one and only Jesus

Now we don't believe in hurtin' or in hatin'
'Cause that's the kind of stuff that leads to satan
We believe in showing lots of love
'Cause that's the way to get to, heaven above

We are the Altar Boyz
You know we're coming to your town
We are the Altar Boyz
We're gonna knock the devil down
We are the Altar Boyz
We're going to sing to you today
We are the Altar Boyz
We always kneel when we pray
We are the Altar Boyz
You know we love to dance and rhyme
We are the Altar Boyz
We quote the scriptures all the time
We are the Altar Boyz
And I think you'll find...
We're gonna alter your mind, your mind, your mind, your mind

You know who's in the house?
Who who who?
God is in the house
Yeah yeah yeah!
Everybody make some noise!
Hallelujah Hallelujah x2
Everybody's making some, making some noise x2
Jesus is here, and he loves us all x2
Jesus Christ is here x2

Introductions!
Matthew!
Mark!
Luke
Juan
Abraham
He's Jewish!

Father (Father), Son (Son), the Holy Ghost!

Now some people think, we're really kind of odd when we sing about how we love the Lamb of God
Yeah they like to fight!
They heckle and dispute us
But we don't care!
Even if they persecute us!
Even if they persecute us!

We are the Altar Boyz
We know that God is where it's at
We are the Altar Boyz
Because we think he's real phat
We are the Altar Boyz
You know we don't get no complaints
We are the Altar Boyz
And we can even name the saints!
We are the Altar Boyz
We think that church is super fine
We are the Altar Boyz
We love the wafers and the wine
We are the Altar Boyz
And I think
You'll find..... We're gonna alter your mind!


SOMETHING ABOUT YOU

When I met you girl
I knew you were the one
I’d be with all my life
And I knew that I’d be making you my wife

So I hope you’ll understand my love
When I sing you this refrain
I believe in God, and so I must abstain

REFRAIN
And I know that there is something about you, baby
Something I can’t even say what it is
But there’s something about you, baby
Girl, you make me want to wait

When I hold you’re body next to mine
It feels so good
And feels so right
And it also makes my Levi’s feel real tight

All my friends they think I’ve lost my mind
And they tell me I’m a fool
But I’m doing what I learned in Sunday school

Refrain

I mean it from my heart
When I say I love you so
So please believe when I just say no

Spoken: Girl, whenever we get this frisky,
I know it’s hard to put on the brakes, baby, I know.
But something’s making behave responsibly tonight.
It’s your special blend of charisma and spunk.
Crunk, I guess you’d call it.
But whatever it is, you got it all up in you girl.
You got crunk.

And I think you understand my choice,
And I know you see it’s true.
When I tell you that this hurts me more than you.

Refrain

At least until our wedding date
So till then, I’ll master
My own faith


EPIPHANY

I look into your eyes and I see the pain you hold inside
Aren't you tired of the lies you tell so you can hide

What if my friends don't accept me
I know
What if my parents reject me
I know

But you won't truly be "you"
Until you can say....
I... am.... a Catholic
That's me, I believe in the Holy Trinity
Shout it out and make them hear your voice
Your posse might not think it's dope
To confess your sins, and like the Pope
But this is who you are, it's not a choice

You say you're sleeping in
When you're going out, to mass
You cut school on Ash Wednesday
So nobody will ask
Your rosary’s hid in your sock drawer
You sneak into church through the back door

Time to break out and break free
And finally say, I am Catholic
And I'm proud
Sing it strong, sing it loud
I won't deny who God meant me to be
Every night you kneel and pray
Stand up and be counting today
Out of the cloisters, and into the streets

We are your teachers
And you doctors
And your Burger King cashiers
We're your receptionists
And your interns
And your Amtrack engineers
We are your lawyers
And your tour guides
And don't forget your actors on TV
We are your parents
And your brothers
And your children

And me!
I am a Catholic
Yes I am!
Long live the Vatican
God doesn't make mistakes and he made me
Ohhh, let out what you've trapped inside
Come on and show your Catholic pride
That's how you were meant to be

I am Catholic, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I'm not gonna hold back no more
No you won't, you won't deny
C-A-T-H-L-I-C, Catholic with a capital C
That's how it was meant
That's how you were meant
That's how I was meant to be